I have a friend who recently gave birth to her second child and when I saw her a few weeks ago I could tell she was struggling with breastfeeding. When you only have 1 child the idea of having your baby on your breast all day is a shock at first but you do it, you get into a groove and you keep it moving. However when you have your second child you now have to breastfeed your newborn and chase after your other child at the same time. It is a challenge but that is why we Ladies have the babies!
My friend started asking me how long I breastfed my son and how I did this, that and the other. I answered her questions as best I could because truthfully I never breastfed my children that long(the longest I lasted was 3 months). My daughter had SEVERE acid reflux and by the time she was diagnosed my supply went down the tubes, I was told I had to go on a very strict diet (no diary or soy) and I was going thru SEVERE post pardem so I stopped at 6 weeks. My son got breastmilk for 3 months but I almost always pumped as he had a tendency to BITE me and it was horribly painful (did not have this problem with my daughter). I was told he would bite me because he was tongue tied but in reality he just had a high palette. I consider myself a practical person, so I did what worked for me and that is the best advice I can give to my friends and loved ones.
As we talked more in my friend’s living room I could tell she wanted someone to tell her it was going to be okay if she gave her baby formula, I sensed that she was being a bit bullied by either her pediatrician, her husband, family members or friends or maybe by everyone. All I could say was, do what you feel is right and tell those bullies to Fuck Off! You are a smart woman and a good mom and whatever makes you and baby happy is what is right.
When I first got pregnant and started reading and googling I found that so many people had such extreme views on parenting and especially breastfeeding. I believe that extremes of any kind are never good. Motherhood is so damn hard and when you are a first time parent every little article, fact or Babycenter email can send you into a tizzy at least that was my experience. Therefore the last thing we need as women is to judge one another or to tell someone what they should do. I would always think and say out loud to my computer screen ” ARE YOU IN MY HOME WITH MY NEWBORN AT 2AM” oh right, NO. So FUCK YOU! (I’m from New York, I love the F word-sorry!) I don’t know when we started living in a society where we think it is completely acceptable to tell people what to do with their lives. My mom always says , everyone has their own little book on how to raise their children and I could not agree more. My husband and I were formula fed babies and we turned out just fine. We also slept on our stomach and with 3,864,690 stuffed animals and blankets and a BUMPER and we are still here. Also, think about how many babies live in horrific poverty, their mothers often times do not have access to proper prenatal care, vitamins, healthy foods etc and they still survive. Obviously as educated women living in America we want the best for our children, we want our children all to be healthy baby geniuses but at the end of the day we just need to be GRATEFUL that we have options. My OBGYN with my daughter was the doctor who delivered me 30+ years ago and had such a funny outlook on pregnancy. He is obviously an older man and he is from South Africa so when I started reading off a list of everything I liked to eat and asked him if it was “safe” he laughed and said in his fabulous accent ” the women during the war had to eat rocks because they were starving and they had perfectly healthy babies-so just relax and use common sense”. I love that man!
Mami’s do what works for you! Breastfeeding is hard, you have to be 100% committed and supported. If it works for you awesome if it doesn’t that is okay too. Your baby is just hungry, feed him/her, be happy and enjoy every second because before you know it they will be going to preschool! And Ladies if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all..K?