So you finally found a mom friend that you like and have things in common with other than being mamas and you are thrilled! But wait, your kids don’t like eacother!? This has happened to me and it sucks. It is hard enough to find moms that keep it “real” and that you can be yourself with so when you find one its great. You now have someone who you can chat/text with, have coffee with, complain about your partners, in laws, siblings etc. That is why its horrible when the kids don’t get along because in my experience instead of talking to your newly found friend you are spending all your time trying to keep the peace between the kids.
So what is the answer? I have no idea. I have tried to get together with mom friends without the kids, at a girls dinner or even a quick coffee date when the kids are in school but what about when your kids are too little for school? Well, in my experience the only thing you can do is stop getting together with that person especially if that persons child/children is a bully to your child. However if it isn’t that bad you can do the opposite- keep getting together not as often for the sake of your sanity and deal with the meltdowns, sometimes they will be less intense then others. I always try to prep my kids, I make sure she is well fed and slept before heading out. That way its not complete drama when one kid doesn’t want to share the “legos”. Our kids have to learn how to be around challenging people.
The other thing to keep in mind is when kids are really little they don’t really “play together” its more like they are playing by themselves but next to other kids. They don’t really start playing with other kids until they are 2 1/2 (at least this has been my experience).
Having a mom friend or a group of mom friends is vital to keeping your sanity when you are a stay at home mom. It has kept me from going completely nuts and it is the 1 piece of advice I give to all new moms especially stay at home moms. There are a ton of groups out there, you can find a ton on www.meetup.com, the local park, your place of worship or even a gymboree/music class. Do whatever works just GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and TALK to someone. Do it, you will feel better, I promise.