When you lose your shit on your kid

My daughter turns 4 next week and with each day that passes she becomes more and more sassy. She talks back, has an opinion on everything and swears I am her slave. I remind her daily that I am not.

She has always been a skinny little girl, she had horrible reflux as a baby that didn’t go away until she was 18 months old so she never ate that much. When she turned 2 years old she basically stopped eating everything and her diet consisted of only 5 foods. If it weren’t for Pediasure she would still be 19lbs.  To sum it up I have to bribe her or nag her to eat or just starve her in between meals so that she will eat.

Lately, she has been horrible, like scary child that no one wants to be around. She wakes up at 5:30am every day(she usually wakes up at 7am) doesn’t eat enough throughout the day which in turn just makes her a miserable and grouchy little B. She stopped taking naps this past summer because if she does nap then she won’t go to bed until 10PM. Call me selfish but at 8pm I want my kids asleep and quiet because quite frankly after that time I can barely get up to pee let alone wrangle my kids. So basically my daughter has been wreaking havoc on my entire household for the past month and I am OVER IT. So what did I do? I completely lost my shit on Monday night. Yes and I scared her and I feel very guilty.

Since then I have been reflecting  on what could be affecting my daughter’s attitude and I believe its several things:

  1. She isn’t sleeping enough
  2. She isn’t eating enough
  3. She wants more of my attention (hello jealousy)
  4. She needs more time outside

Now that my son is in his I want to walk phase but I have no idea what I am doing, I have to pay a lot of attention to him because if I don’t he will crack his face open. Yes, I realize I exaggerate. It is so difficult to divide myself into pieces, I have to be a mom to my daughter, son and rescue dog and a doting wife(hahaha), run the house, pay the bills, call the contractors, be a good daughter (I am an only child and my parents are divorced), volunteer at school, blog, cook, clean. I CANNOT do it all perfectly I just can’t. This is why I am trying not to beat myself up for unleashing on my toddler. Should I have kept it together absolutely but I am real person, not a robot. So I am cutting myself some slack.

One thing that I started doing since our blow out is to change my delivery. I am saying the same things to her but in a more loving way which is hard to do if you are Hispanic. Atleast in my case, my speaking tone is yelling to an average person. I am trying to drop everything when my son sleeps so we can spend more time together and I am making more of an effort to let her play outside despite her never ending cold. Taking it day by day. What do you do when you flip on your toddler?

GRATIFY

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